Classmate: oh Lydie Lydie...*sigh* I can't remember
Me: C'mon, you can do it....{providing hints that would help)
Classmate: *shaking head* I can't. I can't. {pause of reflection)..."man. I am getting old....I don't want to get old...having people take care of you...I don't want that...."
Watching his/her facial expression when s(he) made that comment, made my heart drop......
This small (and possibly irrelevant to the classmate) portion of our interaction was definitely something that stood out to me. Departing that day, all that was going through my head was "man, IIII don't want to get old either!! Why must we grow old?..Is there a way to escape this or are there things that one can do to avoid having to depend on someone to take care of when one grows old?!?!"
Then it dawn on me. The fear of growing old stems from the dependence factor. Wow it's just powerful the similarities between "growing old" and developing spiritually.
You know when you're a "child", fresh and coming, you are okay with dependence. We don't mind depending on our parents for our needs, and wants. It's just natural. In fact, we love it soo much that we usually tend to take complete advantage of it... kind of similar to one's beginning relationship with God. Dependence is natural. It's great..You feel like you're on cloud 9...believing all things, hoping all things; but as you start getting older, and you begin to experience things and learning/gaining the tools to "take care" of yourself, you get tempted to believe that you can do it all by yourself, like being old enough to be considered an adult, being able to drive, getting a job and making mula. When you get there, you feel like you don't need anybody to help you...you've got this!! Similarly, spiritually, as you learn more about God, as you begin to see things clearly, know Biblical facts, gain wisdom to deal with life's circumstances, are able to say a powerful prayer, preach, witness, it's easy to start thinking that you're in control and that you no longer need to be so dependent anymore.
Eventually however, you start getting old, you know, physically you're becoming weak, mentally you're becoming weak, cognitively, psychologically, etc...you begin to realize that pretty soon you'll have no choice BUT to have the faith of a child and the trust of a child to allow someone to take care of you. In other words, you'll have to re-learn how to depend AGAIN--wholly depend in some circumstances. Case in point, Muhammad Ali... (love the man), back in the days he could float like a butterfly and sting like a bee and he did so impressively! He was a beast but today, when you look at him it's just hard to believe he is indeed the same man.
During your spiritual walk, you'll go through situations and challenges beyond you, where you'll feel like you are helpless and lacking everything; and you'll be required to have that child's faith and trust in God to see that light at the end of the tunnel. Of course it's going to be hard because you've been trying to be so independent and you've been relying on your strength for so long, but you're going to have to re-learn to wholly depend again. --> As Mark 10:15 clearly states, "Verily I say unto you, Whosoever shall not receive the kingdom of God as a little child, he shall not enter therein."
Don't get me wrong, I still don't necessarily want to get to a point where I'll have to wholly depend on anyone, but what choice do I have?! Time won't stop for me, and it won't stop for you either. So can we do anything to help with growing older? Maybe, start cherishing your days (aka the present) and learn from your experiences as you grow older...
Random fact: Fluid intelligence decreases around the age of 30/40 but crystallized intelligence increases with age (well at least up until 65 lol)!. word up.
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